drammatical

Today marks our 13th anniversary. Whoa. Sad that I'm stuck in another city and not home with N to celebrate this day as we always do, like the two silly teenagers we were when we first meet. Amazingly we've both grown up so much, and together. Who would have thought that today we'd both have careers, a husky that's nuts but awesome, love, and two avocados on the way...

I love you W.N.D.

So we’re expecting some babies in time for Christmas. I’m sure most, if not all, four of my readers knew that by now… If not surprise!

With this news many ups and downs have been experienced. First and foremost N and I are ecstatic with our upcoming gifts. We really cannot wait, or maybe we can for the remaining five months. I personally have always always always wanted twinsies! I know I’m somewhat wrong in the head, but I did and well I’ve been granted my wish. I think I’m really excited to see what/who they’ll look like, kiss those little cheeks and just experience being a mother.

I have a very close relationship with my mom. It wasn’t always like that. We did not get along much when I was a cranky teenager and I’d been a daddy’s girl growing up. However, once I grew out of that annoying I-know-it-all stage we really connected. Anyway, I believe our relationship is the way it is because of our willingness to have open minds. Of course we don’t always see eye to eye on things but we at least understand and respect each other’s opinions. This is something that I cannot wait to share with my own children.

Something else that I clearly remember from my childhood is my mom always being there. She was a stay at home mama for the majority of my elementary days. After that she worked fulltime. Nonetheless I remember her being there and having that feeling of security that my mother would be there no matter what. Little A also got to experience the same thing and he too is close with our mom. This makes me sad about my little ones. They won’t get to experience that assurance. I’ve made the decision to continue working and have someone else care for them while out there…

So this is where the downs come into play. Many people in learning of my “situation” automatically assume that I’ll become a stay at home mom. When I clear this up for them they seem to give me a judgmental look. Heck some have even come so far as to ask WHO will watch them. Uh, none of your damn business! How will we afford TWO babies? WTF kind of question is that? Am I happy? Is N happy? Again I ask, WTF!? Seriously people what is wrong with you? But the most annoying is the assumption and expectance that I become a stay at home mom.

Why is it that in this century people are still hung up on women having families AND *gasp* careers? Is this still 19XX pre women’s liberation? I never have associated myself with being an ultra feminist but I am now being treated as one. People can’t seem to grasp that I have a *gulp* career and *sigh* no desire to stay at home… This of course is not to say that I don’t respect anyone staying at home to take care of their children. I commend and truly respect those women and men. I just don’t want to do it. Not my cup of tea. Kind of like when my father wanted me to become an LAPD officer and I looked at him like he was from Mars. Yeah, not me. So why then is there still double standards, expectations, judgment and just plan arrogance in 2009 with respect to women and children? Am I crazy to expect open minds? Probably.

So I’m here in Sacramento. Ugh. Allergy HELL.

Well last week I managed to run a lot and since I stayed in downtown I walked a bit too. My office is about 1.2 miles from where I stayed at.

This week I’m staying somewhere outside of the city and have a car. I have yet to make it into the gym for some real work but I did walk in to check it out this morning. UGH! It’s the size of a closet and the equipment is so close together I could stand in the middle and touch it all. I’m really going to need to find other accommodations for next week. That or find a xfit affiliate down here.

Today I promise to do 4 rounds of 400 meter runs and 35 squats.

I miss lifting heavy stuff.

House
We finally saw our house this weekend. It’s perfect in every way and the location is prime. It would work for N and me and our families too. It is only a 2-bedroom but we can expand later. I really really really want this house. Too bad it’s too much $$$.

Work
Has been killing me. Can’t make it to any of my morning classes and by the time I get home I’m too exhausted to move. I’ve been averaging about 10 miles a week with my dog though. We’ve been going out every night at about 8ish, it’s so cool to run in the dark. Hopefully this week I’ll get back to regular schedule and make it to at least Tuesday and Thursday’s xfit classes.
Oh, and it looks like I’ll be heading up north. North north. Ugh.

N
I can’t believe how in shape he’s gotten! I mean it’s been less than one year since he got his knee surgery and he only started running in December/January. He has the heart and head and I’m so very lucky to have found him and kept him.

Miffy
Is doing awesome. We can’t believe how comfortable she’s gotten. We’re able to leave her alone, without the kennel and she does great. No chewing on stuff or barking or anything. The only mischief she’s gotten into is getting up on the couch for naps when we’re away.

Thoughts
Even though we’ve found a house we both like (love for me) I know it’s out of our budget and will let it go. I’ll still keep an eye on it and hopefully it will stay on the market for a few more months. If it doesn’t well then it doesn’t and I’m not going to get upset over it. Eventually we’ll find something perfect, location, design, size and price-wise.

I’m really unmotivated about my next assignment. I’ve been dreading having to travel, especially since we got Miffy. I always joked with N if we had kids how he would do it when I’d leave for weeks on end. Well Miffy is no child but she sure does require lots of attention. I’m planning on having some help in the form or younger siblings come over in shifts to help N out.

Something else, I don’t want to leave N. It really sucks being married, to someone you actually enjoy being around, and having to leave for months only to see them for a total of two days out of a seven day week. Sigh. I know this is part of the package I signed up for, I know this is my job/career but I can still complain about it, and will. Hopefully my boss’s assurance of this being a “quick job” will pan out and I’ll only be gone for one month.

We’ve been looking for a house for quite some time now. Months and countless Saturday AND Sunday afternoons and sometimes mornings. It sucks. There’s nothing out there. Nada! At least nothing that’s priced right and has oh let’s see a kitchen! Not one that’s been gutted that you really don’t even know in what room you’re standing in. Oh, which brings me to my other issue. What part does no sinks, doors, missing floors scream turnkey!?!?!!!!

Now I know we’re no Bush family but come on we do have stable jobs and make reasonable salaries. Hell we even have a freakin’ downeffinpayment. So why is it so hard to find something? Why? WHY!

I hate house shopping. I hate homeowners. I hate that I don’t have a house yet.

I hate that I’m about to give up.

me. We've been so freakin' busy it's insane.

- Trying to finish reading Paula. Still have New Moon on loan from the library that will be due soon. Ugh! Can't believe I haven't even read two books this year.

- Looking at houses sucks. Between trying to compromise on location the houses just plain suck. Most are still overpriced and even more need a lot of work, a LOT.

- Haven't been to the parentals in two weeks! Argh they are going to disown me soon.

- Sleep. My naps have been eliminated and that makes me sad. Why can't days be 32 hours long?

- Taxes. Need to send them in. I'm so busy they've been sitting in my bag for a whole week and I can't even make it to the post office. Hell, we're even getting money back.

- My arms and shoulders are killing me. Arms are due to Crossfit shoulders are due to poor ergonomics here in the office.

There's so much more on my plate so now you know what's been going on. Told you I wasn't lying. And no, I'm not avoiding you...

So we all survived Friday night’s adventure. Wow was that an adventure. It was so fun, challenging, exciting, everything but frightening.

There was snow, lot’s and lot’s of snow that turned out to be my Achilles heel. The cold air, high elevation, snow and steep hills were not a good combo for my lungs/breathing. I felt awful that my lungs suck and that I was holding my team back. Fortunately, I was teamed up with a group of awesome men that not only understood but helped me. They did nothing but encourage me and made sure my asthma was in check. Those guys were truly awesome and I couldn’t have asked for a better team.

We were down by about 1:30ish the next morning. This was not a 7 mile run. We were not expected to finish at 10:30pm as had been initially stated. I called N as soon as we got to Sierra Madre and he was asleep! ASLEEP! Here I was thinking that he’d be worried. Hmpf! He told me that he knew that we wouldn’t be done by 10:30pm, more like 1am. He also added that both Q and E had his number in case I would have fallen off the cliff or something…

Our team didn’t get lost but we didn’t take a turn we were supposed to and ended up backtracking. It was a 2.8 mile lesson. We also decided to take another route out of the mountain. Most of us had run out of water and that was a bit of a concern. We finished at Eaton Canyon and got a ride back to Sierra Madre. Honestly, the only area where I did get concerned was at the ranger station. There were these creepy looking cabins and then the guys were talking about lotions in baskets…

All in all I would so do this again, like next week if possible. This was a great Pioneer run!

Currently I have this lingering cough but other than that I’m feeling great. This is probably due to the rocks I didn’t step on when crossing the streams. No injuries and soreness so I’m ready for another week of life.